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I watched two movies on my laptop last weekend, something that will be more common now. Don isn't into movies like I am, and the red Netflix envelopes have sat
accusingly like overripe tomatoes, waiting for us to devour their contents while the $15.99/month fee for unlimited movies goes on getting billed. I finally relinquished the necessity of watching movies together, so he can do something he enjoys while I do what I enjoy and watch a movie in another room. I'm pretty sure Don was happier watching the Redwings play ice hockey in the Stanley Cup playoffs than he would have been watching those two movies with me. Duh.And me? I really liked watching these two films on my own about women whose goal in life is to make people happy. Both of them came out in 2008. The first was "27 Dresses" about a woman who has been a bridesmaid in 27 weddings. It was a typical - and mediocre (though it had its moments) - Hollywood romantic comedy about a woman who spends too much time making everyone else happy and doesn't have a life, or love, of her own. The second was "Happy-Go-Lucky" - a Mike Leigh (thus British) film that still has me thankful I watched it. I hadn't seen one of his films since "Secrets & Lies" - which I loved thirteen years ago. No Hollywood gloss here - which I appreciate.
I won't spoil anything for you, but please watch "Happy-Go-Lucky" - about a woman named Poppy who first annoyed me, then made me laugh, then cry, then wish I were more like her. Poppy has actually shaped my behavior toward people this week, helping me stop and imagine not just how to make someone happy, but also what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. Don't let the title and the DVD photo below fool you. The movie is intense and moving.
There is a lot of blur around the ways women try to keep others happy. In general I believe there are innate traits in women to appease, to be in relationship, to communicate, to nurture, to self sacrifice - we can argue about whether conditioned or genetic (probably some of both). During the past five decades especially we have been working to balance that with ways to bust free from solely living in a nurturing role and do other things we love. Maybe in another few decades women won't be expected to sacrifice their desires to please others. Both these films in their own ways show the vulnerabilities of being a woman and how difficult it can be for us to do exactly what we want - with the kind of support and acknowledgment we deserve.
And a lot of the time - like Don and me watching movies together - it just takes a little breaking loose of expectations, for myself especially. It's really silly when you realize that what you thought you should do wasn't even making anyone happy!
"27 Dresses" - 40% Fresh at rottentomatoes
Next on my queue: "Visions of Light" about the art of cinematography in American movies.
"Visions of Light" synopsis from rottentomatoes: An exceptional documentary about the craft of cinematography, featuring behind the scenes looks at some of the greatest films down through the decades in Hollywood, with secrets and insight into the look of great films such as CITIZEN KANE, THE GODFATHER, film noir, and much more. The film received very high critical praise for its comprehensive look at the art of filmmaking and the unapologetic love of the form.
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